Back to square one...

I've been working with one of my students on idioms and this is one that he has a hard time understanding the figurative meaning for...back to square one.  It means to start over.  Starting over to me means gaining a new perspective and doing things different.  Well I guess it's that time for me...time to start over.  I feel like up til this point in my life I have done the same thing and expected different results.  I guess that means I'm insane according to Einstein's definition.  I don't want to be insane anymore.  Time to do things different with my mind, body and spirit.  

So what am I going to do differently?  Well for my mind I am starting by learning something new.  I am going to learn how to play the guitar.  I have always wanted to learn how to play this instrument but never really had the motivation to make it happen.  But starting over is giving me a lot of motivation and I plan on not just learning to play the guitar but mastering it.  Some day I hope I am good enough to write some songs.  That has always been a dream of mine and I decided it's time to start following my dreams.  So wish me luck on this new endeavor.  One day I'll play some tunes for you! :)

As for my body, it's time to really hit the gym again.  I think I am going to try to get a trainer for once a month possibly more.  I need someone to keep me motivated, someone who is in the same area as me and will push me to work hard in the gym.  I am also planning on working out with my roommate as much as possible.  These workouts coupled with my well balanced meals will kick start my weight loss again.  I have let this get out of hand.  I have gained back a lot of the weight that I initially lost and I am embarrassed by my body again.  Plus I have noticed more cramps and headaches since I have been lacking in my workouts.  By the time I leave for the West Indies with Mom and Dad in the Summer to pick up Brady I want to weigh less that what I did the last time he saw me.  I believe my weight the last time he saw me was about 190.  So I am aiming to hit 175 and lower if at all possible.  I am going to work hard and I would appreciate you all holding me to this.  It helps to have people on your side that believe in you and give you motivation.  

Now for my spirit!  It's sad to admit this but I have not been reading the scripture like I should.  I start one week and then stop the next.  Honestly, I'm not sure I've read the book of mormon through all the way without stopping.  So I have a goal to read the book of mormon from start to finish before Elder Shepherd gets back.  I want him to be proud of his sister...not just how I look on the outside but who I am on the inside.  I want you all to be proud of me!  

With all of these new changes in my life I know that I will be happy because I am doing all that I can to be the best person I can be.  I know that through this I will find a man that sees who I really am and loves me for me.  A man that will treat me the way I deserve to be treated just like my Dad treats my Mom.  The last man I let into my life was not this man.  I never want to feel the way he made me feel again.  I am excited for the future.  To see what kind of blessings these changes will bring into my life.  So here's to starting over!

Love you all!